Rice & Times: the uniquely american experience - Volume1, Issue1
Home | My Account | Search | Photos | The Lounge | Forums | Voting | Passion Pts. | Clubs | Events | Refer Friends

All Forums
   |- Dear Abbey
         |- Advice for those who are afraid to commit

New Topic | Post Reply

Author Topic: Advice for those who are afraid to commit
Angelina
Posted on 10/28/2006 14:12

Say you have feelings for someone, but you are afraid to
commit. You would rather not be tied down and be able to date
other people. SO what happens when the other loves you,
and you have told them the same countless amount of times.
I just wanted to put some advice down for those of you who
are like this. If you say you love someone, they are going
to think they are the only one. THis usually is the way it
should be, but besides that, if you really do not want to
be with only them, do not drag them along for the ride. Their
emotions are being played with, and if you care at all you
should let them go. NEVER stay with someone just 'not to hurt their feelings' that is the worst thing you can do.

what is important is what is produced
is what you need from the relationship love?
are you getting what you need
how do you know if you're getting the love you need
because of feelings
but most importantly
because of actions that portray those feelings
words are cheap
hear the promises, the said commitments, the nice sugar
things that are whispered and that you want to believe
but watch the outcome, the effect, the result
if the two don't match you are being irresponsible
TO YOURSELF to not take action
explain how your needs are not being met and what you think
needs to be done to meet them
can your partner do it? really?
if not, you need someone else
as painful as it is, it's less painful now than it will
be later if you keep wearing yourself trying to produce
something that cannot be produced with the ingredients
you have
solve and unsolvable problem?
that's what you're trying to do if you keep trying
to do if you keep trying to get something different from
the same set of factors - those factors are you, your partner
and your relationship




the BIGGEST mistake (especially women - sorry women!)
You are thinking you can change your man or hoping something better will develop in the relationshp. Stop wasting time! Men dont' change. Most men have made up their mind about you the first time they met you.

have some RESPECT for yourSELF. if you recognise the signs,
move on.
life's too short to try to change someone to fit your
relationship equation
you can't change people
you can only change yourself to affect your relationship
people will only change how they want to.








Ok...guys! Let's hear your side! What do you tell someone when you're still want to meet other people on this site?
Nameless
Posted on 10/30/2006 20:18      

IF you really want to date other people at the same time then you NEED to communicate with him/her from the start. This way it's clear what your intention are and the other person can decide what he/she want to do. If you wait further down the road then it will be really hard.

I do not understand why women ALWAYS want to changed their man to someone they are not. Don't you know it's hard to change a person habits. I'm not saying men are not like that but i see this happens more so from women. If you love the man why can't you except him for who he IS and NOT try to changed him to someone that he is not. If there are things that you just can't overcome or live with it then find another guy. IF there are habits that you don't like but love him then talk to him about it. Maybe he will work on it. Just my $.02.
Nameless
Posted on 10/30/2006 22:14      

I guess you can say that I believe in karma? I don't want my time to be wasted and I'm sure that goes with you as well. I rather use my time for better things then waste it on a woman that does not know what she want.
Angelina
Posted on 11/1/2006 19:46      

That's how things should be. I respect your honest opinion. I wish most guys would be more upfront about how they really feel about the person they are dating. If you don't love someone, just say so! Most guys like to hang around for the benefit until they find someone suitable. Don't you women hate this game of munipulation?
Poised
Posted on 12/29/2009 06:14      

If your afraid to commit simply stay single

 

 









Asian Singles | Chinese Singles | Japanese Singles | Korean Singles | Thai Singles | Vietnamese Singles
Taiwanese Singles | Singaporean Singles | Indonesian Singles | Filipino Singles | Malaysian Singles
Laotian Singles | Cambodian Singles | Hmong Singles | Indian Singles